Yesterday, Father’s Day 2018, was our first without my husband, the dad of my kiddos. It was a bit of a tough day because the wounds are so fresh, the loss of a familiar and loved friend. For some of the kids, it’s just easier to not have those thoughts drummed up. We did enjoy an afternoon of watching a couple of movies, a favorite Sunday activity. Beauty and the Beast, the live action version…it brought back memories of a fun discussion my husband-to-be and I had on New Year’s Eve, 1991. We had attended a city-wide worship night at Cashman Field in Las Vegas – back then, numerous churches came together for praise, worship, and communion as the New Year approached. A Sunday school student of ours shared with us afterward her excitement over the animated movie, Beauty and the Beast, that had recently released. Of course, we had to see it after that. We enjoyed connecting with kids in discussions and activities even before we were married. Nice memory yesterday. I agree with my youngest daughter, I like the animated version better.

The movie tradition began even before Scott’s health deteriorated. It was a fun way to gather in and share a memory. We would crowd all who were home into our room to watch a movie, usually on Sunday afternoon – not every Sunday, but enough that it was a memorable occasion and appreciated by all. Kids on the floor, kids in chairs, kids using our bed as a viewing venue. Family time could be limited while he was working, but when spent together in such activities, it was priceless. As my husband prayed for more time with his family, the answer was surprising – who expects the Lord to take them out of the workforce and bring them through major, major health problems to give them time with their family? Psalm 37:4, though, is a great point to ponder: Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. When we delight ourselves in Him, the desires of our hearts are going to connect with the plans that He has for us, and we see those desires fulfilled. It may not always look like we anticipated, it may be embedded in unusual circumstances.

This does not mean that we lay out our wish list like a young child does for a birthday or Christmas and end up with thousands of beautiful packages that we quickly lay aside. Rather, valuing the Father, we value His priorities. The things of earth grow dim. The treasures that we store up are those of eternal value. Our storehouses here are vulnerable, but eternal treasures are of great worth. Time on earth is a commodity that is limited. Psalm 139 tells us that He knew the days he fashioned for us when as yet there were none. Yesterday, as I pondered these past few years and the gift of time at home that the Lord endowed, I realized that this was not just a gift to my husband but also to all of us. They were tough years because of the surgeries and the pain that Scott endured, the frustrations with the secular world that we faced in navigating the Social Security system, the uncertainty as some answers to prayer came in unexpected form or different times than we anticipated. Nevertheless, we had time together. We saw the Lord’s imprint on so many things as we walked this path together. Sometimes healing comes through a miraculous or medical improvement in this world or in a life, but ultimate healing came as Scott went home in March. It’s a bit lonely…no, it’s a lot of lonely. It’s tough every day, no doubt. It’s easier when there are things to do, and down time is thought time that can be so difficult and dreadful. But God! God is faithful, and though it feels lonely, we are never alone. We delight ourselves in the Lord as well, and He will continue to meet our needs. The desire of my heart during these health trials was my husband’s healing, which has now been realized. It might seem too soon from this side of glory, but I am certain that Scott, who sees face to face, knows that it was right on time. My heart cries, “Maranatha – come quickly, Lord Jesus!” Nevertheless, there are lessons to be learned, lives to be touched, work to be done. All in your time, Jesus. Until that day, we will encourage one another, pressing on and looking ever toward Your hope, delighting ourselves in You.